Ben Cleuch The Bitch of all local Bitches
 Ben Cleuch that is! Seein as I havent managed a trip up the old mound this year, I decided to get up kinda early on Saturday morning and go take a look up there.
 Set off at 8am with my Bike and camera (thought I'd take some snaps to let you guys that haven't been up there see what your missing) Cycled out along the barmy by-pass and on to hillfoots, through Menstrie and Alva and turned up onto the hill and up the first few fire road climbs which get rather steep towards the top where you come out onto the open hill, stopped to get over the style where I realised that I was working a bit harder than expected, my camera was drenched in my back pocket, luckily I had a polly bag for my dog n bone so squeezed the camera in there to save it getting any sweatier (first tip, put electrical goods in a wee bag) unless of course your not a sweaty git like me.
Stops to take a few snaps, as you do, an carries on, the climbs get pretty steep on the fire road which goes on for about 3 - 4 miles some dodgy loose stuff as well but it provides a challenge to ride it. At the end of the fire road you take a right turn onto the moorland of the hill and follow some pretty faint Landrover tracks, this section is fairly heavy going for around 3 miles due to the incline and the soft ground, good granny ring workout.  Onto the top of the hill and the clouds were moving fast (Its bloody cold up there as well, it may only be three thousand feet but it is Scotland ! Went to take a couple of pics and realised the sim card had screwed up, I had switched the camera off before it had processed the picture causing it to wipe the card, damn, (that'll be the second tip then!) all the pics from the way up were gone. Put the spare sim card in and retreated the wind and scary looking clouds for the descent down into Tillicoultry.
Theres some yeeha descending to be had, fast grassy stuff for a couple of miles with the odd rock, boggy bit and wee drop offs to keep you on your toes. Then its onto the winding single track final descent which goes on for a couple of miles, It's a bit of a groove in bits with just enough clearance for your pedals (have to ask the council to go up and sort it out) Theres also a steep grassy slope on your right hand side which is a bit menacing, it drops for about 100ft with a burn at the botton, that's a long way to roll!
 Just
getting into the groove as it were, and this family of nettles
has decided to set camp right across the path? How inconsiderate
do you get!?! Miles and miles of open moorland and the little
F@%$£rs decide to grow there.
Emergency stop was in order and use of the bike as a sheild
to pass safely. It wasn't the usual big cool looking light
coloured nettles either, you know the ones that sting you
and its gone the next day, no it's the dark green tight faced
little bastards that last a fortnight, you know, as if they've
got right under yer skin!
Anyways got down off the hill past Richards work at the Clockmill
and picked up the cycleway back to Alloa before cutting through
the woods where someones built a pretty impressive jump park
(scary) back through Tulibuncle and home along the 'take-yer-life-in-yer-hands'
Alloa road and the Bypass. How is that on the Bypass the cars
have enough road to drive 6 abreast and they still shave you???
Anyways the total trip time was 2hrs55 but leaving the camera at home I reckon 2:30 would be a dooer.  Top tips for the journey:
- Take a guide the first time, cause the trails aint easy to find.
- Don't do it if you don't like yer granny ring.
- Watch out for the nasty nettles.
- Mind a pump n' tube
- Expect yer bike to be covered in Sheep shit when you return.
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